Ground

I haven't planned a post as such, but as I've put down 'writing a blog' on one of my sixth form application forms, I'd better keep this business up. This post will, ideally meander. It will, realistically, be rubbish. Apparently my blog is quite literally unfollowable. I will try and remedy this as soon as possible.

It's become very apparent that many of the most normal processes I experience are more interesting than I initially think. Take farming and planting. As an ancient species, how did the concept of burying the remains of food to make more of it come about? Especially considering food was pretty short, and foragers had to be frugal with their gatherings. Obviously the sensible explanation is that tribes of people just threw their waste onto the ground, and the seeds in that waste planted themselves and sprouted in due course, which the tribe then understood and replicated, but I am a reader and prefer a little less mundane theory. I like to assume that all successful civilisations that developed farming had an early religion which featured a belief in natural rebirth, the life cycle - returning life to the ground from whence it came. This would have involved plants, and so seeds were buried, starting life - the cultivation of said seeds was a later development. This could also have been the beginning of the culture of burying the dead - present in pretty much every civilisation on earth. It's really odd to think that perhaps early religion/belief basically boiled down to PUT THAT BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM, RIGHT NOW, OR YOU ARE GROUNDED (pun unintended).

Another example of a deceptively normal process is one I carried out earlier this morning. I took a small ceramic pot, and into it I put crushed seeds from a tropical plant. I let these crushed seeds mix with scalding water, until a dark infusion was prepared. To this most mysterious of potions, I added the breast milk of a grazing sow. The devilish concoction complete, I let it slip down my throat, and soon the ungodly effects begin to occur - I felt liquid energy course through my veins, radiating me from head to toe - the warmth of the liquid seemingly transferring itself to my organs in a heartbeat. My senses were sharper - I was more awake, more alert, more alive. I had, in my alchemist's den, created the most coveted prize in all black magic - the elixir of pure, unadulterated life.

In other words, I made a cup of instant coffee.

(I just know someone will be itching to chide me for my referral to coffee granules as seeds when they are in fact crushed beans, but do remember that though I have a penchant for semantics, I have an unrivalled apathy for biology. I went to see Ben Miller discuss his new book on Saturday, and my favourite quote was that he felt that secondary school biology was "just naming things".)

On one last note, I would urge you all to start watching the US comedy series Community, even if like me you can only do this online. It's the most creative, funny, surreal series I have ever watched, and it's brilliant. What other sitcom can pull off a clip show, but with fake clips of episodes that never happened?